jack_in_the_box | [Closed]

[Rei watches Rin change, trying not to be too obvious about it. Whenever Rin glances his way, he looks away quickly.

After a moment, he goes to Rin's bag and crouches down to dig through it, looking for movies. A few months ago he never would have done something so intrusive, but, well, it's Rin's bag, so it's probably fine. He finds them quickly, laying them one by one out in the floor.

He is not surprised by the abundance of romance movies. He would have been surprised if he'd brought anything else.]

Well, I haven't seen any of these, so I'd be alright with any of them.

[It's true he's not huge on romance movies, but he's willing to sacrifice an hour and a half of his life if it'll make Rin happy.]

You're the guest.

[For the record, Rei should never use the word "sacrifice" out loud ever in his life, at the risk of inadvertently waking old feelings of guilt. That would be a terrible kickstart to their weekend together.

Besides, the very fact Rei exists in the same time and space as him is enough to make Rin happy. They really could lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling for the following two days and it wouldn't make a difference.]

It's your place. [He retorts, crouching down beside Rei and draping an arm over his shoulder as he inspects his collection. Anything too serious and they would both wind up emotional and in tears; definitely not the mood he has in mind.]

How about "Wedding Crashers"? It's a silly romantic comedy, I think it could work?

Then we'll watch that.

[Oblivious to the guilt-inducing error he almost made, Rei leans into Rin's hold and turns his head to kiss his cheek. Then he shrugs out of Rin's arms and gets up, stretching a little as he does.]

People normally have popcorn with movies, don't they? And something to drink. [He's not going to drink soda though, he just won't do it.] Do you want anything in particular?

[His kitchen is Rin's kitchen for the weekend.]

You make it sound like you've never been to a theater before, you big nerd. [Said in the fondest sort of exasperation one can possibly muster. Really, they've watched movies together before, it's not like he only knows the theory.]

Anyway, I'm fine with whatever. [Rin gives another shrug in response, setting the chosen movie aside and tossing the rest back in his bag. He doesn't know what kind of drinks Rei has readily available at his place, and even if he does feel pretty comfortable around, he still wouldn't want to impose too much-- and, to be perfectly frank, he just wants to get this ~~cuddling~~ movie watching started.]

You'd probably like some iced tea, yeah? And popcorn would be fine, as long as we don't add a lot of butter and salt to it.

We don't always get something! And going to the theater with Nagisa is... an experience.

[He knows Rin knows, since he seems to remember a story about going to see that dog movie he refused to watch, and "things I'd like to tell you, Rei-chan, but I've been sworn to secrecy!"]

You can get things set up if you want.

[Said as he leads Rin back toward the living room, then heading off to the kitchen. It's up to Rin if he wants to take on the arduous task of understanding someone else's television setup.]

[Ah, right. Rei does have a point there; Nagisa defies all reasonable logic on any given day, but whenever food is involved, he's really something else.

That is, of course, not the part they're keeping secret; hell will freeze over before Rin ever admits to acting like such a cutesy kid like he did back then.]

You sure you don't need any help with the snacks? [He calls out, plopping down on his knees and quickly studying Rei's television setup. Unless it's a convoluted system (like Rei himself) this shouldn't take very long.] I'm gonna be done with this in a minute, you know.

[Especially since Rei's head would swell three times its size if Rin said he won a crane game while imitating his speech patterns.

Rei puts popcorn in the microwave, then goes to get some tea and put it in glasses.]

If you want to.

[He probably should, the tv is not THAT convoluted and Rei will spill either the drinks or the popcorn on his way back if he tries to carry all of it.

He's also pulled out a blanket. It's not that cool in the house, but somehow it felt right to grab it.]

[Just as predicted, setting up the dvd doesn't take very long at all; just a few buttons pressed and voila, the main menu flashes up on the screen, ready for play. So instead of lazing around, Rin decides to act like the ever so benevolent young man he is and give Rei a hand with his chores. All out of the kindness of his heart and no ulterior motives whatsoever, of course.]

You know, [He starts, sneaking up from behind his boyfriend and maybe just snaking a single arm around his waist.] If you'd told me you were feeling cold, I could make arrangements to keep you warm...

[To make a point, and also as a show of playfulness, he snatches the blanket from Rei and drapes it over his head, careful not to cover his eyes. It's probably not conducive to getting started in a timely manner, but hey, they're not in a rush.]

[Rei can't help but smile even as the blanket is draped over his head.]

It's just for if we want it. Though the cold can be invigorating, it's not conducive for sitting still and watching a movie, and anyway, goosebumps are not beautiful.

[Wholly unnecessary reasoning for the blanket's presence so dispensed, he gestures at the popcorn bowl.]

Can you get that?

[The blanket is still on his head because his hands have drinks in them.]

[Rin just stares at Rei for the following minute or so, somehow not surprised that he would come up with an overly elaborate excuse for the blanket, but still mildly incredulous, regardless. A mental note is made: he needs to come up with a new playful insult for Rei, because "nerd" doesn't even begin to cover it anymore.]

Nerd. [He resorts to his old weapons, anyway, tugging at the blanket just so it will partially cover Rei's field of vision-- but not too much, he really doesn't want any iced tea accidents to take place. Then, he picks up the popcorn bowl and makes it back to the living room, only to realize his next conundrum.]

Uh, so-- [He's stopped in his tracks, eyes shifting from the couch to the floor.] Is it okay to have cold drinks and buttery food on the couch or...?

[Because as much as Rin is careful to keep his space clean and organized? Rei is a damn neat freak.]

[Rei makes an indignant noise when his eyes are partially covered, but luckily for them both he makes it to the living room without incident, which is really something given the potential for tripping on the blanket or stubbing his toe on a side table.

He gives Rin a Look.]

Why? Were you planning on spilling something?

[It is true, though, that spilling something on the couch would give Rei a heart attack. He doesn't really want to explain that to his parents.]

We'll have to be careful. [He sets one cup down just long enough to set two coasters out, then places both cups safely on them.]

We can eat the popcorn over the blanket.

Who the hell would plan to spill anything, Rei, seriously? [It's Rin's turn to sound more than a little indignant at that implication. He has perfectly good manners, geez!

Still, he'll leave it as a rhetorical question, or else Rei would engage on a neverending rant about evil tea-spilling couch defilers or whatever it is he has growing in that fertile ground he calls an imagination. Bowl carefully set on the couch, he moves over to help Rei with the blanket before he can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, taking it off his head and safely folding it into a neat pile, away from the beverages and popcorn.

Taking a step back to admire their setup, he reaches for the remote control.] Anyway, guess we're not missing anything, yeah?

[In fact, Rei does have a few things to say on the subject of whom would dump things on the couch, but Rin distracts him by being helpful and removing the blanket.]

No, I think we're all set!

[He proclaims this proudly, before sitting down on the couch (careful not to jostle the popcorn). He then looks up at Rin expectantly.]

[Rin, on the other hand, takes his seat with much less pomp and circumstance (only Rei could ever look that proud over successfully making arrangements for a simple movie session) although just as careful as his boyfriend.

Pulling the blanket over their legs, he picks up the remote again, only this time it's so he can offer the device to Rei.]

I'll let you do the honors.

[You know, since he was clearly so excited about the whole thing.]

[Rei takes the remote, presses play without much more ado, then sets the remote down on the table.

He scoots closer to Rin until there's no space between them at all, a clear invitation.]

I have to admit, I've been looking forward to this.

[He leans his head against Rin's shoulder.]

I wish we could do things like this more often.

[It's not without some mild surprise and a pleased smile that Rin welcomes Rei to his shoulder, arm snaking around his boyfriend for ease of cuddling. He still remembers a time when physical affection didn't come so easily, and the initiative was, more often than not, left to Rin. This is definitely an improvement.]

I know. [He cards his fingers through an ocean of blue, blunt end of his nails idly massaging Rei's scalp. Can't let the nerd outdo him in affections.] I'm glad we got this chance, too.

[There's a part of him that knows they won't have many more moments like this, that graduation looms closer and his life in Japan will soon become a thing of the past. From every logical standpoint, finding quiet downtime together wouldn't be any easier to do when they're oceans apart than it is right now, with the other only a train ride away.

But this wouldn't be Rin Matsuoka if he simply conformed to common sense.]

But who says this has to be a one-time only thing? Who says we can't do it more often?

[Unfortunately, he's dating Rei Ryugazaki.]

Other obligations. My family. Your roommate. Time.

[He cuts himself off there. He hadn't really meant it in reference to Australia, had really meant that they were both busy, but maybe he subconsciously meant it as Australia too.

He doesn't want to bring that up now. He doesn't want to think about it yet.]

I mean, because we're so busy all the time. Like I said before.

[Nice save. Maybe.]

But I would like to do it more often.

[No, that wasn't a very nice save at all. Rin would be surprised if thoughts of separation hadn't been crowding Rei's mind, if he hadn't been trying to foresee the changes in their relationship once Australia came into play again. And when the time came for them to talk it out, Rin would poor his heart out, reveal the only path he hoped they could take.

But that time isn't here yet, and there's something else that needs to be said. A prelude of sorts.]

That's all there is to it. [He starts, pulling away so he can look right into Rei's eyes as he goes on. Let him see how serious he is about this. About them.] If that's what we both really want, then we'll absolutely find a way to make it happen.

[He wonders if he's coming off too intense, and chuckles a little at himself. Their foreheads touch next and he closes his eyes, hoping to soften the impact of his words.]

I don't know about you, but I don't let anything get in the way of my pursuits. Not anymore.

[Rei stares right back into his eyes, not flinching. He understands how serious Rin is, and even though he knows that logically it shouldn't, because they're only teenagers, sitting on a couch in t-shirts and sweatpants with uncertain futures before them, he suddenly feels like this moment holds a lot of gravity.

He suddenly knows for sure he wants to make it happen, whatever "it" means for them.]

I believe I know firsthand, having been one of your "pursuits" myself. [He reaches up to slip off his glasses while Rin's eyes are closed, because he's close enough to see Rin's beauty without them, and they just get in the way.]

I think you'll find that I am also not so easily discouraged.

[He slips his outside arm up onto Rin's shoulder, tilts his head just a little and kisses him, like he's done many times before. But something feels a little different today, or maybe that's just his imagination.]

[If this is just his imagination, then it's surely contagious, and that's enough to make it real. Maybe it's because they haven't had many opportunities to be like this before, open and spontaneous without the looming threat of any meddling third parties, but the feeling itself isn't new to Rin. That overwhelming sense of warmth, the need to touch and feel and never lose him out of sight, these are all familiar memories from the end of every date, every text message late at night, every time their smiles meet. So very familiar.

And Rin has known for a while now, what those feelings are called. He just hasn't named them out loud yet.

That popcorn bowl suddenly feels like a nuisance between them, and he parts from Rei just long enough to set it down on the floor. When he resumes kissing, it's just as gentle as before, and he wraps both arms around his boyfriend so to tug him down on the couch with him, head on the armrest and Rei on his chest. Luring him into ultimate cuddling, movie left forgotten playing in the backdrop. And that's just as well.

Right now, with his own eyes diving deeper into lavender, he knows that no fictional romance can compare to what he has.]

Rei, you know I'm--

[Ah. Is it too soon for that word, still?]

--I'm crazy about you, right?

[Rei lets himself be pulled down, moving his legs up so they're in a more comfortable position, tangled around Rin's. He reaches his hand up to deposit his glasses on the back of the couch before slipping both arms up around Rin's neck and shoulders, though he keeps his head up, so he can keep looking into Rin's eyes.

He's not sure he'll ever get used to... used to being looked at, like the way Rin is looking at him now. Every time he thinks he's gotten used to it, got it down and no more surprises are on their way, something happens and he's out of his depth all over again. It's like swimming, but sinking isn't nearly so scary or frustrating here. Not with Rin's solid weight under him, and the promise that he's not alone in this.

He hopes he gives back even half of what he gets.]

Yes. [A blink.] I mean, I know, because... I feel the same. I feel...

[Things I never thought I'd feel, things I never thought I wanted that now I don't know how I lived without.]

[Oh, he does. If asked, Rin would probably say that Rei gives more than what he gets, that it has been like this since long before they were even friends. But that would be like opening old wounds, and they would wind up talking in circles indefinitely.]

You feel...? [He lets his fingers venture into blue hair, encouraging with words and actions alike. Perhaps it's selfish, but Rin really wants to know how he feels about them, wants to hear about Rei's experiences and how similar they are to his own, wants to learn the things he can only assume from meaningful looks and comfortable silences. He wants to know it all, hear it from Rei's endearingly dorky narrative, fall even harder if his feelings are everything Rin hopes they are.]

Let me guess-- butterflies in your stomach?

[Said with a sheepish chuckle, a reference made in jest and a sad attempt at helping him along. Because as selfish as Rin might be, he doesn't want Rei to feel pressured, either.]

[Rei looks thoughtful, his smile dropping and almost becoming a pout for a minute.]

I always thought people were exaggerating when they said that's what it feels like, but that's exactly what it feels like. Or, what we would imagine it would feel like, since a real butterfly-

[In a great show of restraint, he cuts himself off, lowering his head to nestle against Rin's collarbone. Now isn't the time for him to go off on a tangent about butterflies.]

That's what it feels like, though.

[He smiles again, looking off to the side and not seeing anything but the rise and fall of Rin's chest.]

I was... a little scared at first. Because you and I were just becoming close friends, and I didn't want to... rush into something that could drive us apart. And I'd always thought I would never date anyone, so I had to wrap my head around the idea. Even after studying and thinking on it, I was nervous.

But... [He closes his eyes, nuzzling his head in a little closer to Rin's neck.] I feel comfortable with I'm with you. I can be myself, and I know you're alright with that.

And you. Your smile has become my favorite sight in the world. I catch myself thinking about you when I should be thinking about other things far too often. I miss you when you're not around. And when we get it in a fight, it's like the whole world is ending, then we make up and everything feels brighter.

[He sighs, contented.]

And I used to think feeling this way would drive me crazy, but it doesn't. [His eyes scrunch up a little bit.] I honestly never thought I could feel this happy. And I just want you to feel this happy too.

[He says all this with open, honest sincerity. He's not one to hold back when he has something to say.]

[Rin has to hold back the urge to chuckle at first - at Rei's near slip-up over butterflies and studying theories on dating - but then Rei soldiers on, and it feels as though his chest grows heavier with every beating second.

Not from supporting Rei's weight, either; it's something much bigger than that.]

Rei... [It's barely a murmur, and the hand that had been idly playing with blue locks pulls him closer, strong and desperate-- and he hopes he's not pressing hard enough to hurt, but Rei will have to forgive him for any unintended roughness. Because this isn't what Rin had been expecting to hear-- no, definitely not, it's so much more. Knowing he could inspire those feelings in someone, that he could mean so much to the person who means the world to him... It's overwhelming, almost as much as it is liberating.

And he wants to tell him, too, that he feels the same, that he's so happy his heart could burst out of his ribcage, but instead all he manages to say is--]

Thank you...!

[And he might have to add "sorry" to his choked up vocabulary very soon, if he wants to apologize for raining on the top of his boyfriend's head.]

Rin...

[It's not really surprising that Rin is crying, considering how emotional they're being, but Rei still feels a flutter in his heart. Because even though he hasn't said anything else, Rei is sure this means that Rin feels the same.

He doesn't move from Rin's hold, but he does reach his hand gently to Rin's cheek, using the pad of his thumb to swipe tears away. He's tearing up now himself, and he blinks furiously to try and stave them off. He doesn't speak again, both to give Rin a chance to compose himself and to give himself a chance to banish the waver from his voice.

The rest of the room - the movie, the popcorn - has become so unimportant they might as well be laying in white space. All Rei is conscious of are the tears in both their eyes and the sound of Rin's heartbeat under his ear.]

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