jack_in_the_box | [Closed]

[Rin has to hold back the urge to chuckle at first - at Rei's near slip-up over butterflies and studying theories on dating - but then Rei soldiers on, and it feels as though his chest grows heavier with every beating second.

Not from supporting Rei's weight, either; it's something much bigger than that.]

Rei... [It's barely a murmur, and the hand that had been idly playing with blue locks pulls him closer, strong and desperate-- and he hopes he's not pressing hard enough to hurt, but Rei will have to forgive him for any unintended roughness. Because this isn't what Rin had been expecting to hear-- no, definitely not, it's so much more. Knowing he could inspire those feelings in someone, that he could mean so much to the person who means the world to him... It's overwhelming, almost as much as it is liberating.

And he wants to tell him, too, that he feels the same, that he's so happy his heart could burst out of his ribcage, but instead all he manages to say is--]

Thank you...!

[And he might have to add "sorry" to his choked up vocabulary very soon, if he wants to apologize for raining on the top of his boyfriend's head.]

Rin...

[It's not really surprising that Rin is crying, considering how emotional they're being, but Rei still feels a flutter in his heart. Because even though he hasn't said anything else, Rei is sure this means that Rin feels the same.

He doesn't move from Rin's hold, but he does reach his hand gently to Rin's cheek, using the pad of his thumb to swipe tears away. He's tearing up now himself, and he blinks furiously to try and stave them off. He doesn't speak again, both to give Rin a chance to compose himself and to give himself a chance to banish the waver from his voice.

The rest of the room - the movie, the popcorn - has become so unimportant they might as well be laying in white space. All Rei is conscious of are the tears in both their eyes and the sound of Rin's heartbeat under his ear.]

[Later on, they two are going to look back on this moment, realize they turned a fun, silly date into heartfelt vows of affection and emotional displays, and laugh at themselves like they often do, Rin is sure of that. But not right now.

Right now, Rin feels like the gravity of their feelings went far beyond expectations, and it is as though their entire life path has been laid on in front of them.]

Sorry. [Another whisper, and he takes Rei's hand for a quick kiss, taste salted skin.] I should've known you wouldn't hold back, huh?

[A chuckle escapes him, weak but genuinely amused-- at his own embarrassment and lack of foresight. His hand lets go of Rei's, but only to move on to his cheek for an idle caress or two, then further down to his chin, coaxing him to look up at him. There are many things Rei could make out just from hearing that thundering heartbeat, but as much as Rin doesn't feel very eloquent, he figures there's more to be said, too.]

You do make me happy, you idiot. [See, already resorting to fake insults; so very not eloquent. It's best to let his actions speak louder for another moment, fingers diving in an ocean of blue.] You do, even more so now, with what you just said.

[Foreheads pressed together, he closes his eyes, breathing in an out. He needs a minute, sort out his thoughts, if the same can't be said for his words.]

I... I've known this for a while now. [He starts again, and it's unusual to see him acting so shy, but being open with his feelings is an old trait he's still re-learning to master.] Known that what I felt for you was more than a crush, more than just like.

[It's going to pale in comparison to Rei's professions of love from earlier, and at this point it's so obvious, so should he even bother with saying it?]

Rei, really, I--

[Red seeks out lavender again. He's going to say it.]

I'm in love with you.

[Rei smiles as his head is tugged up, a tear escaping his eye unbidden. He knows he has a tendency to let his emotions run away with his words sometimes, but Rin knows too - their first real conversation had been explosive enough to prove it to both of them. He just didn't want to be ambiguous about it.

He's patient while Rin gathers himself, heart hammering in his chest. He knows something important is coming, so he doesn't speak, breathing in time with Rin.

And then...

And then it's all out there, and Rei can't stop more tears from slipping down his cheeks, even as his smile gets wider, so, so happy. It takes him a moment to respond, too busy just gazing back into Rin's eye's and feeling giddy, but then he remembers he should be saying something back.

The words are obvious, but it still takes him a moment to settle his mind enough to summon them.]

Me too.

[He reaches a hand up to cup Rin's face.]

I'm in love with you too, Matsuoka Rin.

[And then he kisses him, gentle but enthusiastic. Later he'll wonder if they're moving to fast, but how can it be wrong when it feels so right? He's known this for a long time, he realizes, and now it's in words, confirmed, that they feel the same way.]

[Rin matches the kiss in kind, slow and chaste, but with his arms clamped around Rei to pull him closer, bodies further sliding down the couch in all enthusiasm. Now is the spring of their youth, and if there's a time to be worrying about relationship status and pacing, it is miles ahead of them, when the need for settling down and starting a family starts knocking on their doors.

And maybe it's a show of puerile naivety, but right now, Rin is absolutely sure there can only be one person to share that future with.]

Never thought I'd be hearing that from you. [It almost sounds like a complaint, but that huge smile plastered on his face is enough to offset his words. It's not that he ever doubted the strength of Rei's feelings-- because he does feel very deeply about those he treasures, Rin learned as much from their earliest interactions-- but more because his nerd of a boyfriend had a strange approach to romance at first, not to mention some difficulty with showing affection. Seeing them together now, all adoring looks and gentle caresses, that's almost hard to believe.

Hard to believe they had such a rough start, too.]

But, for the record-- [Because this is getting Too Real Too Quick, Rin reaches over for a cushion and flops it down on the back of Rei's head, and his chuckling also covers up for the very embarrassing thoughts he's suddenly nurturing.] --don't say my full name after stuff like that, it sounds like you're proposing or something!

[That would definitely be moving too fast; Rin can't really say he'd mind it.]

[Rei makes a disgruntled noise as the cushion falls on his head. He flails around to dislodge it, only succeeds in throwing it down on his feet instead. When he emerges again, he looks rumpled, but still content.]

Of course not. We're still in high school.

[Among other various logistical problems. Rei might be turning into more of a romantic for Rin, but that doesn't make him jump to the same thoughts. He knows this is love, but if it will weather Australia, and dreams and careers and other people, has yet to be seen.

(Just because he wants it to doesn't mean it will. He knows this.)

Pillow removed and ideas of marriage dismissed, Rei returns his gaze to Rin's.]

I never thought I would say it either. You've changed my views about some things.

[He lays his head back down again, content to settle himself into Rin's embrace.]

You're rubbing off on me.

[It's not without some effort that Rin keeps his comments to himself, but the truth is he doesn't see their youth as an impediment to having a life together-- on the contrary, it's an incentive. But that also has to do with Rin's aspirations and ideals, and his wishes to recreate the path his late father couldn't follow, like much of what he does.

One day he'll share the story of his parents, how they met in high school and never loved anyone else, and Rei will likely see right through Rin. Definitely keeping this a secret for a while longer.]

That's kinda like the point, isn't it? [Thoughts of marriage aside, he laughs at Rei's comment, one arm holding him close as the other gets busy with blue hair. It's a soothing gesture, hopefully enough that Rei won't complain about the mess he's making.] A relationship is supposed to make you want to change and get better. I know that's what I get with you, I mean.

[His grip around Rei tightens, and a kiss is left on the top of his head.]

You inspire me to keep improving.

[Rei doesn't mind - it feels nice, even if his head will look like a rat's nest later. At least no one else is going to see it.

Snug and warm in Rin's embrace, he slips his own arms as well he can around Rin back, moving down from his face. It's hard with the couch there, but he does the best he can.]

That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me.

[And for once it's not because his ego is inflating (okay, well, maybe just a little inflated), but because he's genuinely happy he can be that. He admires so many other people, but he's never thought of himself as an inspiration (other than an inspiration toward beauty, of course).]

I can't say any change you've made in me has been negative, although I do cry a lot more than I used to.

[He's teasing, a smile tugging at his lips. One finger traces lazy patterns on Rin's arm.]

I think I'm at my best when I'm with you. Being a little more romantic than I used to be is just one of the things you've improved.

[The finger on Rin's shoulder draws a heart shape. Okay, that one was deliberately over the top, but it gets the point across. When he speaks again, he sounds a little amused.]

We admitted a lot more to each other than I thought we would when we started.

[At Rei's initial response, Rin is simultaneously happy and upset to know that his boyfriend wasn't told how amazing he is more often, although he can see why people would try to avoid fueling his ego. Regardless, he's one of the most wonderful people he's ever met, and Rin writes a mental note to make him feel appreciated on a usual basis.

The crybaby comment earns a playful slap in return for that sass, and by the time he points out how much of their deepest feelings they've been pouring out on each other, Rin has to laugh at how entirely ridiculous they are-- and how ridiculously easy it is for them to find happiness together. A good kind of realization, really.]

Yeah, I thought we were just gonna hang out and be lazy all weekend, but I guess there was a change of plans, huh? [As though to make a point, he blindly reaches down for a fistful of popcorn, careful not to drop any on the quick ascent to his mouth. Not as hot as he'd like, but whatever; there are far more important things at play here.]

I'm not... very good at this, though. [He takes another moment to swallow, a cheap way to buying time.] Being so open and talking about how I feel and stuff. So I guess... I guess it's a good thing that we did. That I finally got to tell you that.

[He'd been holding back for way too long.]

I'm glad, too.

[Rei tilts his head up, looks at Rin, reaches and tangles his own hand in Rin's hair.]

We seem to have a habit of telling each other how we feel without really planning for it. And usually as dramatically as possible.

[It's a light-hearted mention. It's not that Rei just loves bringing up a time they were at each other's throats, but it will always be a part of them, and the event that set them on the path they're on now. And even if they had been only one wrong word away from blows, Rei would never go back and change a thing.]

I think we just needed this moment. Like I said before, we're always rushing, always with other people... So I'm really glad that we're doing this.

[And now he's more determined than ever to do this more often. Before Rin leaves and they're forced to look at where the relationship is going.]

And I'm really glad that you told me.

[He tilts his head further up, to kiss Rin's chin. He wishes he could convey to Rin at words that he doesn't have to worry about being "good" at feelings, that Rei will always accept him and he doesn't have to be nervous, but just saying that would probably have the opposite effect. So he kisses Rin gently, fingers playing with his hair, and hopes that he gets it from that.]

[Rin leans into the touch and the kiss, humming in blissful contentment. Perhaps there's something to be said about the fact that Rei, who has always been far more straight up with words from the very beginning, has chosen to relay the message through physical affection-- Rin's area of expertise. Perhaps this is just fine.

And that means he should keep trying to improve on the communication front. Because Rin Matsuoka doesn't settle for just fine, he must strive for excellence.]

Come to think of it, it wasn't as dramatic as it could have been. This talk, I mean. [He feels the need to clear that up, although it should be obvious nothing they ever do would be as dramatic as their first real meeting. And he wouldn't change a single second of that, either.]

At least this time around, you did the polite thing and invited me over, instead of showing up unannounced and cornering me. Now that would have made for a terribly aggressive confession.

[He chuckles at the thought and makes a sudden move forward as though launching an attack, teeth clamping down with a threatening sound just an inch or so away from Rei's nose, equal parts rowdy and playful. It's good that they can talk like this, open and spontaneous and free, no hard feelings over a time when resentment was all they had for a bond.]

[Physical affection for Rei is a learned skill, and a conscious act. He's watched Rin, he's come to know how to read signals, when to try words and when actions are clearer. Especially in quiet moments like this, when he can think about what he wants to say, and how to say it best, he can do it well enough.

He knows there will be times he won't have time to think, and he'll miss the cues, and he won't always give Rin exactly what he needs, but that's just something they'll have to keep working through.

He raises an eyebrow at the "attack," though it's just as teasing. Resting his palms on the couch on either side of Rin, he pushes himself up onto his arms over him, shifting his weight to his knees on the couch so he's not putting all his weight into Rin's stomach.]

So you don't like being cornered?

[It's said completely innocently, even as he crouches over Rin. Someone's been taking lessons from Nagisa.]

There go my plans for next Tuesday.

[He's glad he's already taken off his glasses, because if they had fallen off his nose during this it would have ruined the effect.]

[Oho. What an interesting turn of events.

This time, it's Rin's turn to arch an eyebrow, less teasing and more suggestive. It's not often that Rei takes the initiative when it comes to physical affection, and it usually takes Rin more than a fake bite to get him in this sort of mood. Maybe the talk of heartfelt feelings got him randy? It's a weird turn-on to have, but hey, Rei is weird, so it might make sense.

Either way, this weekend over has already far exceeded his expectations.]

I do think all I said is that it would make for an aggressive confession. [He aims for an equally innocent tone, but alas, he's not as well trained in Nagisa arts. Instead, he abandons all pretense of nonchalance and lifts one knee, leaves it strategically positioned between Rei's legs. Should he get any closer, he'll wind up with some added friction in his pants, willingly or not.

Which clearly means Rin should try and lure him in.]

But suddenly, I'm starting to think it might be a very attractive idea. [His voice drops to a whisper and he leans in closer, dragging his teeth across Rei's lips, slow and taunting. Eyes locked on his.]

Very, very attractive.

[Rei keeps his eyes locked back for a moment, before they flutter closed at the feel of Rin's teeth and the sound of his voice. His breath hitches when he leans into Rin's knee.

His first thought is that maybe they shouldn't do this on the couch. His second thought is...]

Rin.

[He opens his eyes again, looks right in Rin's.]

We just said "I love you" for the first time, and I think... I think that we should make this something special.

[He lifts himself up again, just a bit, off Rin's knee. He misses the friction immediately, but ignores it.]

So what do you want to do?

[He'll go right back to what he was doing if that's what Rin wants. But Rei just knows he wants to remember this night as something beautiful from start to finish.]

[Rin chuckles to himself, but otherwise keeps quiet about that. He does have to wonder, though, if this is really only his influence or whether Rei had a dormant romantic side within all along.]

I've told you before, I don't care what we do, or how we do it. [To be quite frank, Rin does think a little lovemaking (rowdy though it may be) would be the perfect follow-up to the words and feelings they exchanged earlier; if it's right away on the couch or in the bedroom later that night, it really doesn't matter.

Still, he, too, wants to make sure Rei is entirely pleased with whatever turnout they go for, so he lets his leg drop again, but refuses to pull his face away. Instead, he brings a hand to cup Rei's cheek, lets his thumb stroke circles on his skin, and he finds it extremely hard to resist the urge to close that gap. So he doesn't.]

None of that matters, Rei. [A whisper once they part, though he still peppers kisses all over Rei's lips for the half minute it takes him to add:] I just want to be with you.

[Rei leans into the kisses, humming agreeably. He would still argue that he's not a romantic, but there is a beauty in loving someone, in being happy with them and making them happy, and he would be a poor beauty enthusiast if he didn't try to make this love as bright as possible.

So to that end, he sits up, then finds Rin's hands, taking them and lacing their fingers together.]

Come with me.

[He tugs on Rin's hands, urging him off the couch.]

Unless you're still interested in this movie.

[He looks over, and it looks like the actors are arguing about a girl or something. He has no idea why.]

Like you even remember what the movie is called, for starters.

[A clear indication that neither had ever really been all that invested in the movie. All right, so maybe Rin had been a bit interested in knowing about how this pair of weasels just crashed into a stranger's wedding in order to prevent unwelcome guests in his hypothetical future nuptials with a hypothetical fiance that could be hypothetically a bit of an oblivious nerd, but he could always look it up later. Right now, he's got other priorities.

Carefully maneuvering so as to not step on the popcorn bowl or knocking it over (and sparing an idle thought to whether Rei would just leave their snacks behind, unattended) Rin hoists himself up, giving his boyfriend a curious look.]

So, where are you taking me?

[He has one or two ideas, but he can still play coy.]

The movie is called- ...something about weddings.

[Partly to avoid Rin's look after that sad attempt, and partly to be responsible, he lets go with one hand to remove the popcorn from the floor and set it on the table. It should really go in the trash, but it will keep for a little while. It would break his fluid maneuver from couch to bed if he goes to put it away, so sacrifices must be made. He does push the power button on the remote to turn off the movie and reach past Rin for his glasses, putting them back on his nose, before taking Rin's hand again.]

Be patient and you'll see.

[It's not a surprise, since there are only four places Rei can take Rin from here and they're definitely not going into the kitchen or his parents' room. As for the bathroom, shower sex can be fun, but it's usually too quick. Even if they tried to make it last, Rei doesn't want to get pruny while he's trying to feel sexy. Talk about things that are not beautiful.

So it's predictable when he pulls Rin into his bedroom, but Rei can't be romantic and spontaneous all the time (or even most of the time). It's not the locale that matters today, anyway.

Once they get there, he takes a moment to wrap his arms around Rin and kiss him, gentle but still with heat and a hint of need. He can't get close enough to Rin, but he tries.]

[Maybe it's predictable, and in the back of his mind, Rin has to withhold a comment along the lines of "so much for having the entire apartment to ourselves" - like Rei had kindly pointed out when he first arrived - but he was serious about not minding technicalities, as long as the two are together. And here they are.

He's no stranger to the urge to break the laws of physics and hold Rei so close until they are one and the same, to forsake air and breathe only his scent, but even in his highest dreams, he knows that just can't be. So he settles for kissing him, lets his hands sneak underneath fabric and grip Rei's sides, roam across shoulder blades and toned muscle. He wants to read him through touch, to pick on every unspoken need, grant every hidden wish. Wants to love him like his words couldn't describe.

Rin kisses him for a time, working up a slow heat, peppered with affectionate nips and nibbles on his lips. When he stops, it's only so he can remove his glasses, deliberate and meticulous, as opposed to his usual frenzy from previous times. They're not in a hurry.]

Why did you have to put these back on? [Warm breath brushing against Rei's neck, he slides the pair of red frames inside his boyfriend's breast pocket-- not that he should be keeping that shirt on for long, but they'll figure it out as they go.] You didn't bring me here for studying, did you...?

[Nothing more than a rhetorical question, of course.]

I don't like walking around without them.

[There's another reason, that once he gets so far from Rin he can't see him clearly anymore, he gets blurred around the edges and the features of his face, and Rei hates that. He never wants Rin to be blurred, he only wants to see him in his full beauty. Walking to his room, he might have been out of focus, and Rei can't have that.

But now, with them so close, every detail of Rin is perfectly clear, so Rei doesn't mind when Rin gently removes his glasses. He doesn't care about the damn things at all right now, he only cares about every sensation from Rin's hands. He returns the favor by slipping his own hands up under Rin's tank top, his hands slowly traveling like he's trying to get intimately acquainted with each and every muscle.

He decides to try something. He wants to see the reaction if he...]

I love you.

[It's barely more than a whisper, proclaimed against Rin's lips.]

[There are no waterworks this time, but still a glimmer in Rin's eyes, a smile, and he meets the kiss in full, squeezing Rei to him in a death grip, equal parts enthusiastic and possessive, arms snaked around his shoulders. There's so much he wants to say, wants to whisk him away, take him someplace where they never have to part, where they can simply belong together. A dream world of sorts.

But he can leave that utopia aside, focus on the here and now. Reality is not bad at all.]

God, I love you... [A ragged murmur from Rin's lips to his, breath stolen away by kisses and daydreaming and Rei. There's a minute when he really wants to scream, repeat those words loud and clear enough for the entire vicinity to hear, and a giggle bubbles up in his chest at his own silly ideas. That just wouldn't do.

Instead, he lets his kisses cover a slow, moist path from Rei's jaws to his ears, teeth indulging in soft skin, marking without scarring. Making Rei his in secret.]

Let me show you. [Another whisper, meant only for Rei's ear, already feeling hearts racing together. One hand is in Rei's hair, then his cheek, keeping him grounded to the moment, before the raw force of his feelings could drown out unpracticed words. Before he lost himself in deep lavender, where no line could reach.]

I'll show you love like you've never felt before.

[Rei's breath is slow, stuttered, against Rin as he goes, his hands shivering in their slow study of Rin's chest. He starts to slide Rin's shirt up, not fast, but without hesitation. His body is moving as though on automatic, all his concentration focused on feeling Rin.

He's never really liked letting himself go completely in the past, moving on instinct, not thinking. It made him feel like he'd lost control. So he forced himself to think, and ended up over-thinking, making mistakes, hesitating, psyching himself out.

Looking at Rin now, he thinks he can do it this time. Not just have sex but be with Rin. He wants that. He's not scared, or nervous; he feels exhilarated.

He only pulls away from Rin long enough to take his shirt off. He keeps his eyes locked on him the whole time.

Then he's back immediately, mirroring Rin's earlier position, his mouth near Rin's ear.]

I want to see it. Please. I want to see every sight you have to give.

[He peppers kisses along Rin's jawline.]

Every piece of you is beautiful. [A chuckle, soft.] Ah, I'm so...

[A million words could go there. He doesn't pick any of them, opting to kiss Rin's lips instead.]

[It's an excellent alternative, and Rin welcomes the kiss, but only for a second or two. When he pulls away, it's an equally brief maneuver, and only so he can finish Rei's previous train of thought with a touch of his own:]

So gorgeous...

[An honest, spur of the moment compliment, one that doubles as a quick spice to their tryst. He knows his boyfriend and what gets him going.

Words out of the way, he immediately resumes their kissing, just a little more desperate, a little more resolute than before. In the movies, this would be the perfect moment to sweep up his lover in his arms and gently deposit him in bed, following after in a fluid, smooth move; alas, Rei is no slender-bodied maiden, and as much as Rin could possibly lift him, he doesn't want to risk any accidents and completely ruin the mood-- that has happened more often than he'd like, in the past.]

C'mere... [It doesn't have the same effect, but he keeps Rei in a loose embrace as he tugs him to bed; he moves on instinct, knowing the way by heart, lips and hands still on Rei, distracting and full of promises, fingers getting busy with the buttons on his shirt. He can't wait to feel him, all of him, warm goosebumps under his touch.]

[His spice works, and Rei moans into his mouth, pressing harder against his lips. Maybe it's vain of him, that Rin calling him such things gets him hard, but he's not going to complain if Rin's willing to give it to him. He can be a little vain.

He lets Rin pull him onto the bed, trying not to lose any contact. He kisses and touches while Rin works with his shirt, not being shy about where his hands go. But he doesn't want this to go too quickly, either, so he stays gentle, almost methodically exploring Rin's body under his fingers.]

Rin...

[He lets the name roll off his tongue, sweet as honey. He almost forgets what he was going to say after. It takes him a moment to find his train of thought in the pleasing haze taking over his mind.]

I want to go slow. No rushing.

[That's the theme of the night, it seems.]

[Rin stops his kissing frenzy long enough to free up his lips for a smile, as fond as it is mischievous.]

You've read my mind.

[And then his lips are on Rei's again, soft, affectionate, leaving little nips here and there for added heat. He's wanted to do this for a long time now, wanted to shower Rei with slow, loving care that can't be properly offered in a rush. Even if it's only for one night, he wants to make Rei fully appreciated, like he's the only person of importance in Rin's ever expanding world.

With the last button finally undone, Rin slips Rei's shirt down his arms, slow and deliberate, bidding his time and memorizing every toned curve along the way. Next, his hands are on Rei's chest, frisky, but with a purpose: to distract him just that little bit further as Rin nudges him onto bed, just the very edge, pressing him down on the mattress and following after him, never once breaking skin contact.]

I'll make you happy, Rei... [His whisper comes in a low, warm breath, one leg maneuvering around his boyfriend's so he's sitting astride him. Comfortable, hands on Rei's face, and maybe a slight roll of his hips, the ideal blend of romance and passion; Rin's personal favorite.]

And I don't mean it just today.

[He would do it for as long as Rei let him.]

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